There is no such thing as “popping a squat” for males. There is however, the “taking a leak”. Similar to “popping a squat”, this too has its’ tricks. In response to the previously published article “Perfecting the Pop a Squat Part One”, I have put together a nifty set of guidelines that will help our male counterparts perfect the act of public urination. These handy guidelines will make any after-a-gig urgent need to urinate so simple it will literally become second nature.
Location, location, location
Exhibitionist or not, no male should take a leak with his “Johnson” facing an audience (from here on forth and for lack of a more politically correct word, “Johnson” will refer to the penis). Finding a corner, a dark place or an empty alley can quite possibly be your refuge. Best places for private public urination are those with little to no traffic, poorly lit areas and anywhere you can pull it out without being overly exposed.
Aim to the floor, not to the sky
If you learn anything from this piece, let it be this section. Perfecting your aim will without a doubt be crucial in protecting you from being splattered on by your own bodily fluids. So keep that Johnson of yours aimed at about 20 degrees from your legs to prevent spillage and splatters.
Timing and Flow
As with popping a squat, releasing your bladder in timed intervals will grant you more control as to where the urine falls and will help you control how hard it will land on the targeted surface. Release your urges for a period of five seconds, hold it for 3 seconds, release for another 5 and repeat this pattern until your bladder is at ease.
Get a grip and 3 shakes rule
Grip your Johnson so that it does not flip and flap all over the place. The tighter your grip, the more control you’ll have on the flow and you’ll be able to better control where the flow will drop.
Wipe yourself. “Shaking off” the urine is not only unsanitary, but it is also repulsive. Shaking it off leaves urine residue on your Johnson and on your underwear, not nice if you get lucky later that night.
Also, note that if you do practice the shake and tuck, giving your Johnson more than 3 shakes crosses the line from a shake off to a jack off. So use your shakes wisely.
Click here to read on how ladies can perfect their Pop-a-Squat techniques!
