The Cure said it, even Miguel Bosé agreed on the fact that “boys don’t cry”… or in Bosé’s words: “…los chicos no lloran sólo pueden soñar, los chicos no lloran, tienen que pelear.” Why is it that we agree to follow the norm and stick to the macho status set by an ancient male dominating society? The last phrase would make sense coming out of the mouth of a feminist or any other girl, but it may elicit a WTF?! if you heard it coming from a guy. Now, if you add to that the fact that the male who now screams this phrase before you is a self proclaimed feminist and a natural born queer… well, it all kinda makes sense now. But either way- whether you’re a gay or straight male, crying is something condemned by Latino society.
“Aguántese como los machos”
Growing up that’s a phrase I often heard my dad telling me. Other kids’ parents, uncles, cousins, even my mom and my tías would scream that whenever I or one of the other boys would erupt in tears after losing a fight or after not getting things our way. Of course, that was their soft, nice way of telling us to STFU and to suck it up. Other not so gentle phrases were commonly used: “No seas p*to/ j*to/ m*ricón” (pick one) – that one was quite popular, especially among us kids. Suddenly crying became a sign of weakness, a stab at our masculinity. According to everyone around, crying would make you less of a man.
It’s as if with every tear we shed, we ran the risk of having one of our testicles fall off. God forbid that happen… que van a pensar los vecinos? As much as parents unconditionally love their kids, no one wants to go through the trouble of raising an overly sensitive, queer-in-the-making child. So what’s the best way to prevent this “shameful” thing from happening? Raising them kids to just suck it up and take it like a man…. whatever that means.
Cry Baby
In this day and age things are changing but still some of us carry some baggage around and then some more concerning this topic. People living south of the border are still growing up and living with the mentality that everything is two-toned. It’s either black or white, there are no gray areas.
According to the way many of us were raised, the world is divided in two teams: winners and losers. A very narrow way of thinking, but that’s the way it is… So it’s in our blood and encrusted in our guts to win, win, win. And since crying is a losing game, the moment you show some sort of sensibility and shed a tear or two, you’re out of the game and you’re branded with the scarlet letter- only, instead of it being an “A”, as it was the case in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s famous novel, us cry babies would be branded with a giant “F”- not for failure, but for F.A.G.
And while many gay males are as a matter of fact cry babies, drama queens, overtly sensitive, fabulous and ferocious individuals (yours truly included), not everyone that shows some sort of emotion can be branded as a “homo” in such a derogatory way.
Sensitized
See, that’s the problem with society. Emotion = weakness. We live in a male dominated world, and we have to abide by “the man’s” rules, however, we all have the power to change it. How? By sticking it out to the man. It’s okay to be sensitive. You don’t have to slap and make fun of your kid or little brother for crying every once in a while. You should rejoice and be thankful that that little person has emotions and has the ability to express himself, unlike little Suri Cruise. Embrace that.
We prefer to suppress our emotions instead of letting them out. Guys, it won’t make you less of a man if you show emotion every once in a while. It’s okay to cry- your wang won’t fall off, it won’t make you less of a man.
So it’s time for us to begin change… it’s not up to Obama or Hillary. It’s up to us, one person at a time. How will being more sensitive and embracing tears make this shiz hole a better place you ask. It’s quite simple. People are angry, nuts, just out of it… why? Because they suppress their emotions. Figure it out and do something about it. Fight this war against yourself and your macho beliefs. Make love not war, or something like that.
On the plus side, chicks dig a sensitive guy… so take your box of Kleenex with you next time you go to the movies, or just have them ready for the 9 o’clock novela.
