Metrosexual: a usually urban heterosexual male given to enhancing his personal appearance by fastidious grooming, beauty treatments, and fashionable clothes.  There you have it, that’s exactly how the Merriam Webster Dictionary describes “metrosexual”.  While it’s a somewhat acceptable definition, there is more to “metrosexuality” than that which is defined on a dictionary or wikipedia. Truth of the matter is, you don’t know “metrosexual” until you meet and get acquainted with one.  There’s no way you can Google all the skinny on the “metrosexual” lifestyle… it must be experienced first-hand.

Tuning-up the gaydar

As a self-proclaimed feminist, drama queen, and overall queen, when it comes to decadent activities, if there is one thing I enjoy more than eating Godiva chocolate, getting a good massage, and watching Sex and the City- is partying. 

A couple of weeks ago, a group of friends and I headed over to a club near Downtown L.A., you can say it was an “equal opportunity” establishment- primarily straight, but extremely gay friendly.

As the night progressed, the amount of alcohol in my system increased as my inhibitions radically dwindled. Somewhere in between my third and fourth apple martini, one of my friends came up to me and told me that there was a very good looking individual to my right and that I should head over there, since he was apparently my type. I looked over my shoulder then looked back at my friend and shrugged. She did the unthinkable and pushed me his way. 

We said our hellos, names and the whole introductory protocol. I was about to ask him to join me on the dance floor when a girl wobbled through the crowd said: “Hey babe, I’m back with our drinks”, looked my way and said “He’s with me”, turned his way, made out for about five seconds and left.

I was left standing there with a drink in my hand, entirely perplexed as I watched the guy with spiky hair, platinum highlights, perfectly shaped eyebrows, faux tan, certain mannerisms, a great sense of style, and go figure- an H&M scarf, walk away with a chick.

It was then and there that I began to question my gaydar and wonder- when did the line between homosexual and “metrosexual” begin to blur?

Defining Metrosexual

En pocas palabras, a “metrosexual” is a man who is crazy about his appearance, almost borderline narcissistic.  It’s all about looking good and feeling gorgeous.  Overall, the term “metrosexual” applies to men in general; let them be gay, straight, bisexual… heck, even asexual.  However, nowadays the term is usually bestowed upon straight guys- or closet cases á la Ryan Seacrest. 

The phrase saw the light for the first time back in 1994 in an article written by Mark Simpson; however it was until 2002 that it became popular when in yet another article, Mark Simpson identified David Beckham as the face of “metrosexual”. 

Prior to the David Beckham “metrosexual” explosion, identifying someone as such, was as terrifying and insulting as calling a straight guy: gay- you know how that goes…  on the macho scale it used to go something like this:
•straight
•bisexual
•metrosexual
•homosexual

It is no coincidence that “metrosexual” and homosexual have always been so close to each other.  If we base things on looks and how we as a society identify and label people at a first glance, the only difference between a “metrosexual” and a homosexual is four letters.  

Macho, macho man

Thanks to the fact that the ultimate lady’s man David Beckham was now the “metrosexual” poster boy, it served as a shout-out to all the “metrosexuals” in the world, saying that it was ok to be “metrosexual”- out and proud.

As our culture evolves, so does our technology and science. In addition to that, our morals and our views on certain things change as well; one of them being the concept of masculine and feminine. That’s exactly what the “metrosexual” movement is doing- revolutionizing our ancient views on sexuality.

Up until now, women have conquered a larger territory when it comes to the gender concept. Men on the other hand have the shitty end of the stick and have been condensed to an archaic and restricted macho definition- Gabriel García Márquez couldn’t have put how a “man” should be in better words than: feo, fuerte y formal.

Prior to this whole “metrosexual” thing, a guy could not openly enjoy some of the perks that are usually girls get and things they do without being laughed at and be referred to as a “marica”.  Some of those things simply being: acquiring a sense of style, a decent haircut, getting rid of the uni-brow, a visit to the spa, manscaping, and overall worrying about appearance.

Labels schmables

It’s human nature to base our opinion on first impressions. Así es este pex, as soon as we see someone we label them as cute/ ugly, masculine/ feminine, simpático/ creído, gringo/ beaner, smart/ stupid… and so the labeling goes on. 

Even if we have been labeled as something or the other throughout our life, we still have a hard time shying away from labels. 

Now, when it comes to “metrosexuals” and homosexuals, the defining line is apparently blurring- thus making it sometimes hard to tell one apart from the other, therefore making the gaydar totally obsolete.  While it can be a bit problematic when trying to start a fling with someone, overall the annihilation of the gaydar marks the beginning of a new era in our society where the concept of masculine and feminine are being relegated to past generations, old-fashioned whackos, and right-wing extremists.