When Tommy Harris, 9, walked into the lunchroom at Jackson Elementary School in Sanderson, FL today he didn’t expect to see an all out battle begin before his eyes. “It was horrible. A nightmare,” he said while recollecting the graphic memory of twinkies and pudding cups being violently thrown from table to table.

The cause of the dispute reportedly began when John Schmidt, also 9, made a terrorist remark of how his dad could beat up the dad of Michael Green, 7, yesterday. Realizing the need to defend his honor, Green and about 20 fellow Neo-Cons decided to take action swiftly and decisively by attacking Jimmy Davis, 8, who apparently had aided in telling Schmidt what to say after Schmidt had stayed home sick for the day.

A cassette recording of Green from the day before quotes him as saying “The battle will not be easy, but we must fight to rid the world of those who  try and make us scared and have bad dreams and stuff and also the people who help them do naughty things. We will not stop until they don’t say mean things!”

The food fight, which lasted five minutes, was ended when Principal Gorman took away everyone’s recess and called Green and the other Neo-Con’s mothers.