Girls will have a tendency to assume that if a guy approaches her, he’s trying to get in her pants, which may be, and is most likely, the truth. As a result, girls will generally give guys the cold shoulder causing them to walk off rejected. This response generally leads a large amount of the male population to avoid actually approaching anybody because what they first say when meeting someone, the opening line, is that intimidating.

The opening line, however, has more practical uses for guys than just for picking up girls because it is what generally establishes another’s perception of the speaker. It creates the first impression and without a good first impression, conversation can’t develop. Without a good opening line, the ability to create a good impression is much more difficult. This is why opening lines should be practiced and girls are the best people to practice with. If a guy can successfully create dialogue with someone who’s already assuming the worst about their character, they should be able to do so in any situation.

Where Most People Strike Out

The key to a good opening line lies in what is said and how it is said. Disinteresting topics will generally cause a girl to get bored even if the guy exudes excitement much in the same way that even if the material is interesting, a guy showing little to no vocal inflection will still fail to connect with his target.

So what types of words/phrases don’t work? The usual “Hello’s” and “How are You’s?” tend to be boring, unoriginal, and, while somewhat discrete, don’t offer any reason to think the speaker is interesting. These are the everyday phrases people use with co-workers or acquaintances as passing pieces, meaning that the response is short (i.e. “Hey” or “I’m fine”) and conversation stops dead afterwards. Overtly sexual lines generally have a similar response although girls will realize that their suspicions were confirmed because the guy has already shown interest. The word of the day may be legs, but that doesn’t mean girls are going to actually go upstairs and spread the word, especially not after she’s probably slapped the guy. These may just be two examples of things that are said, but notice how one demonstrates too much interest (and can be offensive) while the other lacks interesting qualities.

Also, several guys will nearly piss their pants every time they approach a girl. They may be shaking or stuttering as they talk, and if a conversation ensues, it’s not because she’s actually interested in him. Instead, his tone establishes him as dorky guy that she’ll relate to as a younger brother and may even try to hook him up with her one friend no one else wants to date because “they’d be perfect for each other.” Then, there are guys who don’t get nervous when they talk to girls, but show no emotion, enthusiasm, or life in their voice. Being overenthusiastic isn’t the best quality to demonstrate, but they, at least, show some signs of life and don’t seep boredom out their pores.

If They’re Looking Fast Ball, Throw a Change-Up

Relating to all the information above, do the exact opposite. Girls see that sort of behavior and hear the same lines all the time. So instead, try starting off a conversation by asking a question. Make it interesting, have some life in your voice, and leave it open ended. By doing so, she should respond with something other than a one word answer that allows the guy to respond in return and should be able to lead into conversation. Open-ended questions are generally more interesting, and allow a girl to feel like they are involved in a discussion as opposed to being picked up. Although, conversations can still be started from closed ended questions, this is less likely because the answer will probably just be a one word response. Anticipate the response in this situation is what will generally generate the conversation because there aren’t many responses a person can use (i.e. yes, no, maybe, kind of, etc.). However, even then leading the conversation after a closed-ended question (that’s not the typical “Do you come here often?” or “Can I buy you a drink?”) is best followed by the open-ended question, if one is already anticipating the answer and knows how to respond in turn.

Expecting specific responses is something every guy should always do regardless of how long the conversation has taken place because in doing so, there are no awkward pauses that can lead to one-sided “talk to you later’s.” Guys should even have something prepared for the times when they don’t know what to say, something to acknowledge their own surprise at not knowing how to respond, and that they can use to change the topic of conversation. Also, make eye contact, don’t lean into the conversation, and keep all physical contact non-threatening (i.e. not invading her personal space). This allows the guy to make himself more interesting by exhibiting the opposite of the behaviors that are expected. He’s different than most of the other people she’s seen and not creeping her out.

As was mentioned previously, enthusiastic guys actually seem generally interested in what they are talking about and as a result should be able to involve their target in what they are talking about. Keep the tone light, playful, and enthusiastic. The number one thing most girls say they want in a guy is a sense of humor; although, this quality generally has more to do with wanting to have fun than a sense of humor. If a guy is able to seem verbally exciting and interesting from the start of the conversation, the girl will be more comfortable and less hesitant to let go of her reservations, despite the fact that she may have been reserved from the start. She already thinks the guy is there to pick her up, so a smart person wouldn’t act like that is their purpose. From there, any guy should be able to create the ensuing dialogue, and if he can overcome the difficulties with the opening line when talking to girls, he can do so in any situation in life.